The business of spam

06Feb07

I don’t understand this crap that floods my spam file. Until a few months ago, I only received the occasional odd message. Now, I think I get about 85 a day. And it’s not Russell Stover peddling Valentine’s chocolates or drugstore.com asking me to reorder prenatal vitamins I haven’t bought online in 2 1/2 years. This new spam is incomprehensible, and I usually ignore it, until that genius Dooce wrote a stellar post about spam. After laughing myself into tummy muscle spasms, I picked myself up off the floor and I decided I must now read what enters my spam file. What treasures await me?

I am hit up on a regular basis for Canadian Viagra and Hoodia supplements. Then there’s KinkyDoll who regularly reminds me that I am guaranteed to get laid TONIGHT if I visit her Geocities group. And I cannot overlook that nice gentleman from Nigeria who wishes to alert me that a long-lost relative of my husband’s family has unfortunately passed away, leaving us with millions, and would I please email him my checking account number so the funds can be transferred expeditiously?

Today, I received this paranoid rambling from Rosemary. I am posting it in its original form, spelling errors and all (plus my own commentary):

Subject: His areas of expertise were explosives, disarming mines, and booby traps.

Like all radionuclides, exposure to radiation from cesium-137 results in increased risk of cancer.

(Apparently, Rosemary is a nuclear physicist.)

UFO groups have long held that the government employs character assassination against people in authoritative positions who speak out onevidence toward extra-terrestrial visitations. “You don’t even need a bomb. So, let’s say, like another posterspeculated, he just went off the silly-end and was humping his way across Thailand.

(Wait, what?? A space alien was humping his way across Thailand? Outstanding! Now that’s someone who has his priorities straight. Yours truly, an uptight good-girl by nature, can learn a thing or two from this promiscuous E.T. Add that to my “Things to do Before I Die” list: Go off silly-end and hump way across a foreign land.)

I approached a 25 year veteran of law enforcement about this concept and how wonderful I thought it would be.

(Me too, I’m looking into cross-country humping as we speak.)

Noimmediate evacuation or medical attention would be necessary, but long-term contamination would be render large urban areas useless, resulting insevere economic and personal hardship. Three individuals who were severely injured were hospitalized at the Curie Institute in Paris and laterwere released in apparently satisfactory condition after medical treatment.

(What the hell kind of intergalactic diseases is that alien carrying that his conquests must be transferred to Paris?)

It’s not just a question of leadership – Brown is simply Tweedlee to Blair’sTweedledumb – it’s the basic philosophy of the party, which has changed out of all recognition to the one I joined. Definately a coup for ATS, good read to boot!

(I’m at a loss when it comes to international politics. But I do know this — Tony Blair must be quaking in his Oxfords after that crushing insult!)

Hethen founded Recombinomics and discovered how viruses rapidly evolve. Consider a typical americiumsource used in oil well surveying.Other then that this article is pretty bleh. But when customs officials opened itOct.This is a business strategy, at odds with humanitarian principles. He agreed immediately but the “but”followed shortly.I think we would all love to see more interviews like this here! would have a one-in-a-thousand chance of getting cancer.

(? ? ?)

Use these systems only to recirculate the air already in the building.By then, the pathogen would probably be on every continent.Third party reports have described sustained transmission of milder strains.Niman: The disease onset dates for the Indonesian families strongly suggests human-to-human transmission within the family.Recent cover-ups havebeen unusually draconian, even for these guys.

(You said a mouthful, my friend. Face masks all around, draconian fools!)

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2 Responses to “The business of spam”

  1. 1 180/360

    That is truly bizarre.

  2. 2 Lefty

    “(? ? ?)”

    You made me laugh out loud, and you didn’t even have to use vowels!

    (Actually, it wasn’t a laugh, but more like a snorting snicker while I tried to keep the food in my mouth from spewing out onto my desk.)


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