On being a negligent parent


I have been awaiting the paddywagon to come and haul me away, Mother’s Badge and all.

While I shower and dress in the morning, during Paige’s first nap, Makenna hangs out in the bathroom with me and plays with all sorts of ordinary objects. The little box that holds the q-tips, my many face creams, the faucets on the bath. She lines things up and we work on her counting. Almost a ritual, as I finish my minimalist make-up, Makenna asks for that candle in the corner, so she can blow out the flame. Which usually means that I hunt down a match to light said candle.

Makenna is such a careful little creature. She works hard to keep herself out of harm’s way. Last September, she learned what HOT really meant. While at my parents for a BBQ, Makenna walked up to the grill and touched it. Two finger blisters and a hell of a lot of crying resulted, in addition to me yelling at my parents for not paying attention (I was off nursing Paige). Since then, she is very cautious around all things hot, lukewarm, even a tad chilly. Until yesterday.

I lit the little candle for Makenna to blow out on my bathroom counter. Typically, she will stand alongside it, and after pointing to it proclaiming “HOT! HOT!” she will huff and puff and huff and puff huff and puff until either she or I (in stealth fake-out mode) finally extinguish the flame. Spaced-out and a little too comfy with Makenna’s care in not getting too close to the heat source, I went to the closet to find a shirt.

Then I heard, “OH NO! OH NO!”

I ran back into the bathroom, and Makenna was holding her cherished Monkey, and all I saw was a tiny flame burning on Monkey’s nose. “OH NO!”

Apparently, Makenna was having a heck of a time blowing out the candle and enlisted Monkey’s help in the process. You see, Makenna likes to involve Monkey in many of her adventures and everyday routines. Monkey sips juice. Monkey rides in the pretend shopping cart. Monkey sometimes gets a pull-up during diaper change. And now, I guess Monkey helps with blowing out candles.

(Here is a picture of Makenna feeding Monkey, pre-nose singe. Makenna had commandeered Paige’s high chair for breakfast, in an attempt to flee the dog.)

So I made sure the nasal flame was out and clipped the charred fuzz off Monkey’s nose as I reprimanded Makenna for burning Monkey. And really, I was just furious with myself for being such a dumbass and leaving my daughter alone with an open flame. Her hair could have caught on fire! Her clothes! I’m such a dipshit!

I’m so sorry Makenna.

I’m so sorry Monkey.

I won’t be so negligent again.

2 Responses to “On being a negligent parent”

  1. 1 little e

    aweeee, poor little monkey. glad M didnt burn herself, let alone her hair and outfit! 😀 tehehe.

  2. 2 Sizzle

    poor little monkey. at least he didn’t perish in the fire! i did the same thing when i was that age with the bbq. i have a tendency to burn myself- my whole life i have been like this. i blame the fact that i am an aries and we are a fire sign. 🙂

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