I got a bedazzler, so my outfit’s tight


My husband Andrew and I were zoned out while watching Flip this House on A&E over the weekend. I’ll pause so you can shake off your envy at my exciting life.

This priceless infomercial came on halfway through the show. http://mybedazzler.com/

The actual concept of Bedazzling isn’t the kicker, but rather the ssssslick marketing showcased in this infomercial. Andrew and I thought we’d pee, we were laughing that hard. Mind you, my husband has a great sense of humor. But the man chuckles, rarely laughs out loud. When he does tear into an all-out laugh, he sounds like Tom Hulce in Amadeus. It’s a laugh that is ever-so-slightly high pitched with a good amount of staccato. Which sounds funny coming out of a 6’3″ 225 pound man.

There is so much to say about this ad, I don’t know where to begin.

“Remember me? I’m Tana from national television!”

Right there, that’s funny. If you watched whatever the hell season of The Apprentice that Tana was on, you will remember that the woman was a plucky and annoying Mary Kay entrepreneur. And, coincidentally, a genius with a Bedazzler. So she’s trying to milk her second place finish by hocking Bedazzlers. Brilliant! But the mighty Donald says HELL NO, you can’t use my name OR franchise! So poor Tana can only align herself with “national television.”

Apparently, Bedazzling is back and better than ever. I had no idea. I guess that’s what happens when you’re pregnant on and off for three years. You lose touch with fashion trends.

You can Bedazzle your hats, belts, even Christmas presents! But can I Bedazzle my dog? Can I skip piercing my daughters’ ears and Bedazzle their lobes instead?

I would also like to point out that buying a pair of Seven jeans with Swarovsky crystals on the pockets was a huge waste of my money. Why? I could have Bedazzled my own jeans with brass fasteners! Had I only known that 18 months ago. For sooth!

One Response to “I got a bedazzler, so my outfit’s tight”

  1. 1 little e

    place, push, and pop!!! genius! dang, that is good stuff.

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